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This year marks a full decade since the word “ghosting” entered the common lexicon. Back then, the concept that someone could instantly end contact with a partner without any notice seemed like the height of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a partner has only become more bewildering – an commonly unsuccessful endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by online jargon.

Zoomers, a demographic who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a widespread challenge on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their Gen Y predecessors could ever imagine. And so their dating glossary has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

What follows is a extensive guide to the words gen Z is using to discuss romance, sex and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the recent most viral memes, by the end of this list you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – In the view of Zoomers, romance's gold standard is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A social media test inspired by a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your date's response is engaged or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while exuding enigma and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Chair theory – This refers to going for someone who helps you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a seat for you to sit down.

Choremance – A date where two people bond while doing chores, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or split, spilling all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a symbol of 80s yuppie excess, it refers to pairs who choose against having children to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of being guarded: embracing dialogue, honesty and openness.

F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Behavioral habits indicating a potential partner is not right. For instance calling their former partners crazy, poor gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions confirm your decision to date a partner. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe niche, mostly inoffensive quirks. Such as being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their purse, paying the rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things fosters closeness faster than having a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, deliberately delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no aspirations of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and usually everyday turnoffs that instantly extinguish any feelings of attraction.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful act.

J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {